Let’s Play “Blame the Victim”

Are you a loser? Do you make lame excuses for your sorry ass? It’s your fault, you pathetic fuckup!

Hey, you got-it-together humanities majors: you will probably make a negative return on that six-figure investment. Did you think that poetry would pay off that crippling student loan debt? No, of course not. If we cared about money that much, we’d have gone into law or economics, like the rest of you greed-heads.

Exercises for the reader: Use the data from item two to make an excuse for failure as described in item one. Write an editorial claiming that anyone who majors in any humanities field, especially fine arts, is actively sabotaging themselves and the economy as a whole by reducing their earning potential. Propose laws requiring parental notification of intent to major, and mandate that every student receive counselling against humanities degrees, as though they were abortions, which they are, economically speaking. Demolish the NEA. Burn books.