Misnomer

Rightists in and outside of the party claim Kerry is an “out of touch ultraliberal from Taxachussets.” Facts: Massachussets is actually about 26th in overall tax burden, right in the middle. Housing is expensive and that makes property taxes burdensome, but the fact is, “Taxachussets” is a big lie.

While we’re at it, have I mentioned that Dennis Hastert may be a pedophile cultist? We don’t know that he isn’t, anyway. He has never discussed membership in a child-molesting cult, nor has he disavowed the molestation of children and attendance of cult rituals involving human sacrifice and the Reverend Moon.

We can’t prove that he’s not a serial killer, but we do have very strong evidence that he is a lying sack of shit and that he is also the Speaker of the House. Oh, and he’s fat and ugly. So there.

(Why do people make fun of Michael Moore’s looks, anyway? I mean, he won’t win any beauty pageants, but he’s not exactly running in any either– he’s a filmmaker, not a model. His weight isn’t the issue.)