Every year they publish another story about how college kids drink too much. Wow. Were these study-conducting people never in college? I suppose they were, but weren’t at the parties, because they were in the library doing statistics homework that has enabled them to go back years later and conduct studies measuring the average number of drinks a partying college boy can toss back in an evening.
I know I was holed up in my room, periodically calling security at 2am because someone was setting off fireworks in the parking lot or throwing up in the bushes. But I also know that kids drank to excess. Most of them at one point or another. Five drinks in a sitting? Five drinks (a.k.a. five twelve ounce cups of watery beer) is a baseline, although it was more than I could do by about two drinks. Ten is what the men would drink. Then there’s shots of Jaeger, throwing up, and more beer. The trick is to throw up before you get too drunk, apparently, to breathe.
The ultimate goal is inebriation sufficient to forget that you’re in a position of absolute irrelevance in the world, that you’re wasting your parents’ money and more importantly your life and privilege and youth.
Secretly Ironic 