Today is the earliest I could reasonably expect a response from the interviews I’ve been on. So of course I got up and checked my mail first thing to see if the employment fairy brought me anything.
The abortion-rights fairy and the restaurant fairy had emailed to remind me to preserve abortion rights and make New Year’s Eve reservations, but the employment fairy had not written me. That makes sense: the employment fairy wouldn’t write me til it was afternoon in California, probably. So I went to the gym and the grocery store and came back, because we all know that watched Gmail doesn’t boil. When I got home, the postal service had delivered me some paperwork about my retirement plan rollover procedure, but the job fairy had still not sent me email about a new job.
My new theory: the employment fairy is waiting for my birthday.
Secretly Ironic 