- Have incurred a genuine dumbass weekend-warrior sports injury (Rhomboid strain. Class of injury: Not painful so much as really, really annoying)
- Excited about having new gutters.
- Big plans this weekend include “go shopping for shrubs.”
- Planning on purchasing some house numbers so that my address is more legible on the outside of my house. In case someone has to find it in an emergency.
- Read entire brochure about life insurance.
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Secretly Ironic 