The Unasked Question

I read a lot of college application essays these days. And one of the most common pieces of advice I give to students is to look at the essay prompt from the perspective of the admissions committee, and remember that they have a second question, one they’re not asking. They ask “Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?” but what they mean is “What does your story show us about why you should be on our campus? How does it reveal you to be a student we want around?”

Unasked questions are everywhere if you look for them. Buzzfeed hosted a chat with a bunch of advice columnists and they said that, especially in relationships, there’s often an unasked question. In these cases, the asker doesn’t even know they’re asking the wrong question. They ask “how do I get my partner to…” and they mean “how do I get what I need without inconveniencing or offending anyone?” and the answer is “You will have to speak up and inconvenience or offend someone.” And sometimes, if not usually, it’s far worse. As Nicole Cliffe, of Care & Feeding, says: “The asked question is “How can I tell my stepdad not to talk about Alex Jones in front of my children?” and the question I need to actually answer is “Is it possible for me to bar my door to a man who physically and emotionally abused me for six years, even if it makes my mother sad?”

Please send me further unasked questions you encounter.

This truly is a bizarre timeline
This week’s “are you kidding me” headline comes to you from Newsweek: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Fake Nude Photos Debunked By Foot Fetishist. Yep. Someone Photoshopped AOC’s face onto a photo of Sydney Leathers, best known for sexting with formerly respected person Anthony Weiner. And of course someone recognized her toes. Like you do.

Thoughtful reads
The psychology and architecture of science fiction, submarines, cities, towers, and alienation: “…as if those structures’ bewildered new residents are encountering not a thoughtfully designed building but the spatial effects of an algorithm, a code stuck auto-suggesting new floors, supermarkets, and parking lots when any sane designer would long ago have put down the drafting pen.”

The Burnout Generation: I never thought the system was equitable. I knew it was winnable for only a small few. I just believed I could continue to optimize myself to become one of them. And it’s taken me years to understand the true ramifications of that mindset.

The Skills Gap was a Lie: In other words, the skills gap was the consequence of high unemployment rather than its cause. With workers plentiful, employers got choosier. Rather than investing in training workers, they demanded lots of experience and educational credentials.

An article I wrote for the MIT Energy Initiative house magazine has been adopted and promoted by the main MIT News Office, which is kind of cool.

Cultivating joy
Horse plays with giant soccer ball.
Dachshunds … well, just check the Twitter caption.
This feat of bricklaying/domino-toppling must be watched all the way through and with sound on.