Category: Other People

Get it into your head: SIN IS NOT A CRIME.
Married couples not having children is not a crime. Despite what Antonin Scalia might want, the horrific sins of masturbation and fornication are not crimes either. (Another note on Scalia and the criminality of sin here.

Honestly, people. What kind of dumbasses have we got on the court? Of all the noncriminal acts in the world, of all the violations of basic principles of freedom, what kind of idiot would ask the US government to keep tabs on what people do when they put their hands down their pants? What’s next, criminalizing armpit-scratching? Oh, I know! Let’s make it a crime to take the Lord’s name in vain, and to disrespect your parents! Let’s make lustful thoughts a misdemeanor, and wet dreams a felony akin to movie-pirating (3 years) or rape (5 years) or smoking marijuana (10 to life). We’ll use eyeball monitoring cameras to tell when someone is distracted by an attractive body across the way, and gait recognition to tell when boys are trying to hide erections. Yeah! Yeah! It’ll be just like Giblets says!

Finally! The mp3 file of my brother’s late-night phone messages!

This has been delayed because I almost never boot to the Windows partition, which has legitimate mp3-related software.

Those of you who still use Windows: Contact me and let me tell you why you should use Linux, or consider the OGG FORMAT or both.

At least you’re using Firefox and not IE, right?

Songs of the day: Axel F, which is Pete Goodall’s cell phone ringtone, dammit, you son of a bitch. And “99 problems.”

Also I should note the long-overdue addition of Kristy and Pat to the left hand nav, for those of you who don’t just read this through some sort of RSS aggregator.

Today at a bar I asked a stranger if she respected someone less if she found out they worked in marketing. She said, as long as they market something worthwhile, no. What do you think of headhunters? And I got halfway through rolling my eyes before I realized she and all her friends were headhunters, and so she and her friends nearly killed us all and pickled our heads. Instead we raised glasses and said “cheers” and laughed. It was OK. Downtown bars are like that.

We’ve known for years that these laws are irrational and cruel and so, well… we keep them because they are popular. Because irrational cruelty is, despite all they might say, a deeply held American value: torture, intolerance, hate, murder. Ooh, but it’s unpatriotic to point out flaws in our moral complexion.

Sorry.

One on animal hoarding just because I love the subject so.

And one for Leah in Detroit because she is so awesome: Muskrat stew, delivered hot to your door. Only in Detroit.

Punks, hardcore rappers, and hillbillies have a lot more in common than they would admit: self-sufficient badasses who ain’t too proud to take a bargain meal when it presents itself. Especially one with plenty of spicy goodness like a muskrat stew.

The educated elites look down on you because you refuse to educate your children.

Who will the leaders of tomorrow be? Not your kids, because you tried to hide sex from them and so instead of getting through school and becoming leaders, they get knocked up and drop out. Thank god for that– we’ve had enough idiot Texans in the white house to last us a lifetime.

Doin’itRight.org is a website about how you should not have sex if you are a teenager. The information on STDs comes down to “you’ll never know if you have one, and you can get them even if you use a condom.”

Best part? Doin’itRight.com is a travel site oriented mostly (although not entirely) to gay travelers to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, with convenient information about prostitution and drugs.

The teen anti-sex site does have the version with the missing G, although the properly-spelled .com version is a redirect to a yachting and diving website.

What else are you doing wrong?

Insightful as always, my brother Joel sends me a table of state election results sorted by per-capita income. Basically, the higher the per-capita income in a state, the more likely it went for Kerry.

Other ways of looking at the data: the less advantageous the ratio of money contributed to the Federal budget to money received from it, the more likely a state was to go for Kerry. That’s right, the states most in favor of the “small government” argument are those that benefit most from it.

The less likely a state was to actually be hit by terrorism, the more likely it was to favor Bush’s “keep us safe from bees by throwing rocks at the nest” terror policy.

I haven’t checked this data to see if it’s accurate, I’m just posting it. What am I, a reputable news source?

The bookdwarf sends me genuinely good news: this woman’s research provides a completely new insight, and possibly a cure, for type 1 diabetes.

Now, in my opinion, type 1 is the important kind. I don’t like to blame victims, but in the case of type 2 diabetes, I make an exception: it’s basically caused by poor diet and not enough exercise. Type 1, that’s a legit disease.

This election was about moral values. By which I mean, preventing the free union of consenting adults, and the beating the living shit out of dark-skinned strangers.

Hurrah for moral values!

Texas textbooks changing to say “man and woman” instead of “married partners.”