OK, so that wasn’t funny to anyone but me.
This Photoshop Phriday about breakfast cereals might be.
Question for those of you in the audience still reading: What’s the singular of the word “tamales?” Is it “tamale” or “tamal?”
Well, fuck you too. I am so not drunk.
I have succumbed to pencil-sharpening syndrome, wherein one organizes the work instead of doing it.
Let me count the ways: One, You have special bottled water for your pet.
Project Runway, on Bravo. Funny, addictive, “reality” tv show. It’s ending this week, but Bravo is showing all the episodes in order on Wednesday all day. Tivo them if you dare.
They realized it was turnaround time at Dell a few years ago: “I realized that we had created … a culture of financial performance, and a culture of ‘what’s in it for me?’ throughout our employee base,” says Rollins, who this year became Dell’s chief executive officer.
Odd, because financial performance and “what’s in it for me” are exactly what every rational employee should focus on. How Dell got soul? It’s a company. It doesn’t have soul. It can’t. People are forever asking employees to dedicate themselves to companies, even to love companies, and they don’t see the inherent stupidity of that request: the organization does not, cannot, love them back. Why would you ask me to love something that can’t return that love?
Maybe an organization like a religion, which is structured to take care of its members, is worthy of love and dedication. Maybe a union, maybe a university that can award tenure. Maybe even a corporation forty years ago when people believed in job security.
But only a fool would love a corporation today. A corporation isn’t a puppy or a spouse. It will never return your love. It will keep you around until you are no longer useful, and then, like a wild animal, it will turn on you and toss you away. It’s not evil, but love simply isn’t in its nature.
So don’t tell me to think of the soul or culture of my company. It doens’t have a soul and it doesn’t have a culture. It’s a workplace. If my company loved me, “employment at will” and “noncompete” wouldn’t be in my vocabulary. And neither would stock options and bonus pools: those are “what’s in it for me.” So, of course ask yourself “what’s in it for me?” when you go into a job. That’s what your employer is thinking.
Anybody (not working with me) who wants a demo DVD of Novell Linux Desktop, let me know and I’ll mail you one. If you work with me, you can get it internally.
I was surprised to see the Vatican offering new courses on demonic posession, since it’s a topic that’s more traditionally associated with the days when the line between spiritual ecstasies and demonic horror was unblurred by talk of schizophrenia, brain tumors, or whether women should be allowed to read.
Then again, when your art supply store will sell you squirrel feet by the half-dozen you may feel that there’s plenty of room for a little concern about the arcane inquiries of your young.
Secretly Ironic 