Spam Spam Spam Spam

I’ve gotten the time-traveler spam– apparently a spam-merchant who has gone nuts, or is pretending to have gone nuts, under the pressure of prosecution for spamming. But this one is quite amusing: Professional Relationship Termination Services

Professional Relationship Termination Services

Need to break it off with someone and don’t know how? Want to end it with someone but you just can’t bear to face them? Can’t find the strenght to finally end it? Afraid to hurt someone’s feelings? Let us end it for you!

Our Services

We will consult with you on why you want to end the relationship. We will then advise you on what we think is the best way for us to present that information to your partner. Once we have your approval on the content of our presentation we will contact your partner and kindly, maturely and professionally inform them of your decision. Our presentation will include only those things that were agreed upon during your consultation. For the safety of our representatives all terminations are done on the telephone (No killing the messenger). Terminations can be recorded at your request for an additional fee. We will not speak for you. We are acting solely as your representative.

Fees
Consultation – Free
One contact terminations – $49.95
Two contact terminations – $89.95
Phone recording of termination – $9.95

Any and all fees are payable prior to service. We will notify you when termination has been completed. Keep in mind the following; Your partner will most likely want to talk with you after our presentation. Your partner may express displeasure that you didn’t initiate the process personally. We have no control over what transpires once the presentation has taken place and assume no responsibility for any consequences that may arise.

In other words – If your partner doesn’t like getting dumped and goes postal and decides everyone at the local 7-11 should pay for what has happened, that’s not our fault.