Angry letters

It’s been all too long since I’ve sent a strongly worded letter to someone or something. McSweeney’s totally has me beat here. People I need to write to:

The undergraduates who keep hollering and shouting outside my window at night. Damn Tufts kids.

The company that runs my apartment building and has tiny vintage mailboxes that don’t hold even a magazine, and therefore leaves all non-tiny mail on a big table where it is stolen, lost, or discarded before I get to it.

The company that my apartment management company has contracted to run the laundry room, and which has failed to maintain the machines or the laundry room, to the point that most people in the building prefer to use laundromats which are further away and more expensive.

Macy’s, which left me on hold listening to Christmas music. I hate Christmas music. In fact, anyone who plays Christmas music where I have to hear it is going to get a glare, and if it’s Little Drummer Boy I swear I’m going to kick someone. If it’s a busker I’m giving them five bucks to play anything else.