Deep Inside the Amethyst Mines

A few weeks ago someone asked me what I do for work, and I had a very hard time coming up with an answer that fit into just a few words. I don’t know why I didn’t come up with something exciting and funny (Amethyst broker to the stars! Sex instructor! Marijuana sommelier!), or simple and accurate (nonprofit marketing freelancer). But I was stumped. I hesitated. What do I even do? Who am I? How did I get here? (Letting the days go by…)

More recently, I made a political donation and the form required me to list my occupation and employer. I started to write down my title and the hospital where I’m currently working, but then I realized that’s not strictly accurate. I don’t work for the hospital. I work for a temp agency that’s a subsidiary of a larger temp-agency holding company.

So I put down “temp” and the name of my sub-agency, since I can’t actually remember the name of the holding company. Then I felt sort of insignificant and temporary. And then I reminded myself that we shouldn’t let ourselves be defined by our jobs but by ourselves: “in a society where you are what you do full-time — and you’re only as good as how much you earn doing it — identifying yourself as anything can feel like a form of hubris.”

And then I went and listened to the song “Amethyst” by Low forty or fifty times on repeat. The color bleeds and fades to white…

This is fine dot gif
Trump takes out an enormous loan under suspicious circumstances.
Deutsche Bank employees say they were overruled when Trump family transactions raised money-laundering flags.
The IRS has basically stopped auditing the very wealthy.
This cop is probably not going to get in trouble for these hijinks.
Border patrol agent charged with running over a migrant.

Simple shareable infographics

This is now how humor headlines work

• Senator Says The Only Acceptable Way To Kill A Fetus Is With a Gun
• Torn! This Pro-Life Conservative Has to Pretend He Believes Black Lives Have Value
• What Surprised Me Most About Becoming a Parent Was That I Was Forced To by The Government
• ‘I Want to Save Unborn Children,’ Says Senator Who Just Closed Seven Rural Hospitals
• Life is Sacred, That’s Why This Nonviable Fetus Should Stay Inside Me So We Can Both Die

Linguistic joy