Author: Aaron Weber

What He Said

For awhile now, I’ve been trying to explain to people how the National Association of Realtors is really a gigantic drain on society: housing is overpriced around here, and commissions are obscene, and that money could be more productively invested in things like home improvement, housing construction, junk bonds, or malt liquor and prostitutes. This is particularly obvious in Boston, where the housing crisis could probably be alleviated by replacing broker’s offices with apartments, where every FSBO seller’s phone rings off the hook with realtors trying to convince them to use an agent, and where apartment websites are filled with no-fee listings that realtors will always say have “just been rented, although there is one in the same neighborhood that’s full-fee…”

I tried to write an article about it several times in the past year, but someone else finally did it right: Douglas Gantenbein, who writes for Slate and The Economist. It’s nice to be agreed with by someone with those credentials, but I kind of wish I’d said it like that before.

Three Neat Articles

First, Observer.com notes that the NYT and the Boston Globe (because they are the same company) have, as an option in their XMS online expense reporting tool, a line for money spent on “Gunmen,” right after “Facilitators” and before “Internet.” Apparently they’re removing that, presumably replacing it with “Bodyguards.” My company uses XMS as well, but we don’t get those options in our expense list. Hotel, Internet, Meals, Travel… that’s about it, really. I guess there’s “Other” but you really have to explain that one. Putting in “I had to hire a bodyguard to protect me from the software pirates” just wouldn’t cut it. Still, I think I’d look cool surrounded by a dark-suited entourage.

Brilliant article in Slate about racism, which you should just read.

Apparently, innovative punishments for children are considered a “bizarre practice.” I wasn’t smacked around as a child, but I got spanked more than once, and as I recall, I deserved the heck out of it. Putting a drop or two of hot sauce on the tongue doesn’t seem to be that bad a punishment for, say, swearing. Probably better for them than soap. I’d be afraid of turning them into picky eaters, though, which in my opinion is far worse than sassing.

Explanation, Courtesy of Dana

Dana, my friend and confidant, a Bowlie member and knower of much about Belle and Sebastian (whom I quoted previously), explains just what on earth that song is about:

There’s a lot of disagreement about what an arab strap is. As far as I can figure from what I’ve read, the etymology comes from restraining devices used on horses (Arabian horses, thus the name) during mating; the original Arab Strap was probably something like a cock ring. As such, there are cock rings out there called Arab Straps, but since there’s all this confusion about what one is, there are also strap-on dildos out there referred to as Arab Straps.

The song “The Boy With The Arab Strap” might be interpreted as being about a guy with some interesting taste in sex toys, but it’s also been interpreted as a dis on the singer of the band Arab Strap, which used to be on the same record label as Belle and Sebastian. I don’t know much about the rivalry, but you could probably find more info about it online.

But What Does It Mean?

We all know you’re soft cause we’ve all seen you dancing.
We all know you’re hard cause we’ve all seen you drinking
from noon until noon again
to the boy with the filthy laugh
the boy with the Arab Strap.

I’m on vacation. I’m lost without a task list. I’m lost in a foreign city. It’s so California I can barely comprehend what people are saying.