Author: Aaron Weber

Advice Columns This Week

What is it with advice columns this week? They seem to have started giving joke advice. Dan Savage, of course, is not known for being sincere, but telling someone “use staples to keep condoms on” is probably the most sarcastic piece of advice he’s ever given. But even the normally earnest New York Times Ethicist
column is getting weird:

I work in the United States Senate. Recently we had to evacuate the building, and some senators were pushing their way past others. Is it all right for an elected representative to supersede others in exiting the building?
Anonymous, Washington

As I misconstrue the customs of our great deliberative body, senators are to proceed in order of seniority when fleeing danger and trampling their slow-footed constituents before them.

Euphemisms

A friend writes: “I’m living in the Castro, a vibrant, cheerful part of the city.”
Marge says: “Isn’t your friend a little… festive?”

Junot Diaz: Drown

YOu all need to go read Junot Diaz’ book “Drown” … short stories of mostly poor dominican folks doing things that don’t quite work out right. People failing to live up to their ideals. Doing stupid things for love or lust or desire to be properly manly.

Secrets and Lies

There’s a story in The Torturer’s Apprentice where an atheist develops stigmata and powers of prophecy. He has a psychiatrist to deal with the implications of this, but as the underground religious groups begin to take care of him more, he stops seeing her. Months later, he calls her and says “don’t go on the trip next week.” She’s unsettled that knows about the trip in advance, but is genuinely terrified after she has a drunken hookup with another doctor at a reception, and gets pregnant with this other man’s baby. What does she do? She raises the child and lies to everyone about its origins. She’s certain she’s going to hell for this, but why should she be the one who’s happy? Confessing would make her feel better, but it would hurt everyone else immeasurably. Instead she holds the secret inside her, painfully, and plans to take it to the grave. “Why should I be the one who’s happy?” She did wrong, after all. She can punish herself.

FMA

For some reason, the wingnuts at the AFA seem to think that only one state representative actually opposed the Federal Marriage Amendment. I love being on that mailing list: it’s the political version of reading a trade journal from someone else’s industry.

Now, many liberals, or “progressives” as we now prefer to be called, oppose the FMA because it’s bigoted and stupid. Many conservatives, however, also oppose it, because it’s stupid and because they regard it as overreaching. There’s that weird collaboration between the religious right and the Republican party. Oh, sure, it’s all there in the political history. But look at the Log Cabin Republicans: they want government out of the boardroom and the bedroom, making them perhaps the only philosophically consistent group in Washington. And everybody thinks they’re the crazy ones.

Mean, mean, mean

Vicious, clever, and accurate characterizations of critics and writers… although I really did like “My Life in Heavy Metal.” I thought it was well-written and well-characterized, even if it was self-indulgent. Maybe it’s because, (here comes the annoying syntax of the liberal-arts student), as a self-involved twenty-something, his work speaks to me in a particular way.

Ugh, excuse me while I go wash my hands. I feel disgusting for saying that. I liked the book because it was about the confused search for happiness and the miserable results of desire. Probably The Torturer’s Apprentice and Drown treat those themes a lot better, but I liked Steve Almond too.

Self-involved, yeah, sure. They’re young writers. They’re people. We’re all self-involved. I mean, I hate David Foster Wallace as much as … well, not as much as I dislike Ben Stiller.

But the thing is: when I see these narrators coming to grief because they’re unable to empathize and unable to understand the perspective of others, I understand their perspective and I understand that mine is fundamentally skewed. Maybe just a little, but a little is enough.

In Other Blogs

In a fit of brilliance, Slate Magazine has chosen Henry Blodget to write a column about how to be a savvy financial services consumer.

Also, Ad Report Card has a good note on the Dodge Hemi campaign with good links to information about what a Hemi is (big engine with hemispherical combustion chambers) and why hemispherical combustion chambers are good, but not as good as other types of combustion chambers.

I myself am drowning in email.