How is a hospital gown like an insurance policy?

Is it a bad idea to begin a letter to one’s insurance company with the line “You miserable cretins have seen fit to deny my claim, so I’m giving you one more chance to pay up before I just come to your houses and take the money myself?”

The answer to the riddle is “you only think you’re covered.”

In contrast

In contrast to my lunch-break annoyance, here is a piece of mail from an Evolution/Connector user I got late last week that made me smile:

… Just wanted to say “Thanks.” I struggled for a couple of sessions, but your thorough docs made it possible for me to get Connector working with only a little reading. The software is very intuitive, but not “[sender]-proof” apparently…

They like the software, and the read the manual. Amazing.

It’s nice to be liked

Louis is probably thirty years old but he looks like a solid 45
Louis says he’s got a headache
I look in his eyes, and I believe him

The big L.K.’s and the gangster disciples
Louis can’t think of who else could take over
But he just can’t get up in the morning
A genuine face, braced for survival

It’s nice to be liked
But it’s better by far to get paid
I know that most of the friends that I have
Don’t really see it that way
But if you can give ’em each one wish
How much do you wanna bet?
They’d which success for themselves and their friends
And that would include lots of money

More Great Headlines

WSJ headline today on the front page: “When the big hand points to the IV, some get ticked off. Subhead: “Traditionalists say IIII is how the Romans did it; Striking a proper balance.” Apparently IIII balances against VIII better than IV does, and fine watchmakers prefer the IIII for that reason. But IV lets you cram in a couple extra features, and it’s becoming more popular.

I love the way they do this sort of weird detailed reporting– tiny aspect of one business that reflects a gradual change that has some impact on business. It’s just neat. Fridays are best, because that’s when they go for the more personal angle, and publish stuff that they allow to border on silliness.

Headline that sounds almost obscene, from page A3: “Regulator Pressures Fannie Officers.”

Correction

Hey! Someone reads this page! And noticed when I wildly and inaccurately stated that the New York Times was totally out of it. The director of the Intersex Initiative actually read my page, and pointed out to me that the Times was one of the first media outlets to cover the issue. There were at least two articles on NYT that predate Salon.com one: Natalie Angier’s report on March 14, 1997 and ISNA board member Alice Dreger’s contributed opinion piece on July 28, 1998.

I still think the article belongs in the medical section and not in style, but I regret that I insulted the Times, which is still, after all, the Paper of Record. Well, actually, the insulting was fun. I don’t regret it at all, paper of record or not.

Slogans

I’ve been trying to figure out a good thing to put as my tag line. For awhile I had some random words from spam, but then I noticed that bloglines (which, by the way, does for blogs what tivo does for TV, and which you should use) uses the tagline as an actual description when it’s showing you a list of feeds you might like. Mine appeared, therefore, to be a blog completely composed of spam. Not so good.

So I switched to an actual description of the content, which was pretty boring. I want something clever. Cleverer (more clever?) than “yes, that is a stupid question.”

Candidates:

  • Or else it gets the hose again.
  • The internet does not love you back.

Hm. I had a really good one earlier today that I have forgotten.

Starship…

I have a profound and growing distaste for the phrase “… in the enterprise,” used to mean “in big businesses.” Just say “in large business environments” or something like that. There’s a million ways to say it.

Besides, “enterprise,” like “professional” is suffering from inflation. Last weekend I saw a review of a giant multifunction remote control which comes in two editions, basic and “Pro.” Do they really mean to suggest that this is a remote control suitable for professional channel surfers? That it is aimed at the lucrative professional television reviewer or censor? Same with the Roomba, which comes in a “Pro” edition. No professional cleaning outfit would use a roomba. Call it deluxe, max, super, extra, ultra, plus, elite, or even (ugh) extreme, but what you have there is very much a device for the consumer market and calling it “professional” will only confuse your marketing and that of everyone carrying anything that actually is aimed at the professional space.

Think before you name a product ,folks. What does this word MEAN?