Author: Aaron Weber

Strongly Worded Letter Number Sixteen

I’m developing something of a reputation for writing strongly worded letters. Which means, I suppose, that I’m becoming a crank. For example, I doubt that the Wall Street Journal will publish the letter I just sent their editors:

Dear Wall Street Journal:

Your article Thursday about the woes of brides and of the wedding industry leaves out an obvious application of neoliberal economic policy that could spur the wedding industry and the economy as a whole. Currently, the number of marriages in the US is relatively static, and the economy has given people reason to cut back on their celebrations, putting a damper on wedding-related enterprises. To allow the industry to expand, we must deregulate it by allowing homosexual couples to marry. An increase in the number of weddings also means an increase in gift-buying, new household formation, and general consumer spending, which can provide a powerful impetus to the general economy.

Marriage deregulation is especially urgent now that Canada is pondering the recognition of gay marriages. Should Canada invite them, many gays and lesbians will flock across the border to wed, taking their dollars with them. We cannot allow the US wedding industry to remain uncompetitive in the global marketplace, and therefore must deregulate marriage as soon as possible.

Sincerely,
Aaron Weber

Beverly Package

I’ve gotten to know Montserrat station and Beverley, MA pretty well over the past few days, going out to Motorcycle Riding School to take the state-approved safety class. I failed it, which means I have to schlep my ass out there again some time in the next 14 days, pay an extra fifty bucks, and pass it this time, dammit, or else. The station is near a liquor store called Beverley Package, which I think would make a good name for a transsexual porn star.

I’m buying a 1991 Kawasaki Zephyr, which is a standard bike they don’t make any more. Smaller and sportier than the Vulcans and not as absurd as the Ninjas. Still a little larger than I need, but I’ll grow into it or die trying.

Why we need gay marriage now

Here’s my current theory: gay marriage can save the economy.

The average wedding in the US is well into the $20k range, before you start counting the gifts. If spending is good for the economy, weddings are good for the economy, and we should have more of them. However, the wedding industry is in stasis: people are getting married later, and more reluctantly.

Some in the industry blame low-cost competition but that’s not the heart of the problem. The real blocker on demand for weddings is over-regulation.

Oh neoliberals, where are you now? There’s a whole class of citizenry with oceans of pent-up demand just waiting to spend spend spend, and here are unnecessary, intrusive laws blocking the unfettered commerce of the American wedding industry. The engine of economic growth is firmly in our grasp: we have only to open the throttle!

On the other hand, maybe we need to legalize gay sex before we get to recognizing unions.

Say it with Cement

Cemex has been advertising an awful lot in The Economist. It’s funny to me to see companies that advertise there. Their classified ads tend to be of two sorts: official announcements of things like job openings at the World Institue of Econometrics, or privatizations of Rwandan banks, and then ads for “wealth preservation” with “privacy” through “offshore investments.” And of course the other ads are for luxury items and for companies that want people to invest in them and boost their share prices.

Three totally random links:
Rumors in Fargo and a woman whose death was apparently, but not actually, related to the movie.

The bared navel, much analyzed. You know, dude, I was totally all about navels before they were cool.

101 stupid business moves of the past year. Including one item that just reads “Martha, Martha, Martha.”