Twentysomething Originality

Everybody loves a funny t-shirt. OK, many people, including me, like funny t-shirts from time to time. But I am growing tired of the fact that none of these hip t-shirt companies that keep popping up have ideas of their own: Derek Zoolander Center for Kids t-shirt at Noisebot, Derek Zoolander Center for Kids t-shirt at Snorg Tees. Let’s Hug It Out t-shirt at Snorg, Let’s Hug It Out at Noisebot.

According to the Noisebot “About Us” page, “Every one of us here at NoiseBot.com is in our 20’s. We don’t just sell this stuff. We live it every day.” Wow, man. That’s deep. You youthful entrepreneurs sure have hit the nail on the head. Your entire business is making ugly screenprints of other people’s stupid jokes. You’ve got a real sustainable brand there, because nobody else has ever thought it would be funny to do a half-assed Will Ferrell impression.

Sufficiently Advanced Technology is Indistinguishable from Magic

This is popping up everywhere, but I’ll jump in too: Talking Points Memo and The Atlanta Journal-Constitution both cover GA state legislator Ben Bridges’ memo stating that all of contemporary astronomy, physics, and biology are actually an ancient Jewish conspiracy based on the Kabbalah. Although Bridges now denies writing the memo, he also refuses to say he doesn’t believe it. This is a memo which actually promotes fixed-earth cosmology. Next up, Lamarckian evolution!

I suppose that science is complicated enough now that Arthur C. Clarke is being proven right, and people just throw up their hands and think of it as magic. But for those dedicated to, you know, accuracy and truth, have a look at the Scientific American guide to debunking creationist nonsense.

I’d love to see what RedState has to say about Bridges and the teaching of science in science classes, but they seem wholly immersed in cheering on the Iraq bodycount this week.

Three nonfiction, one fiction

The first two are by Paul Theroux, and detail long, exhausting voyages to all kinds of places. Theroux is a brilliant observer of people and places, well-informed about history and literature. Most importantly, he’s got an attitude I like: he’s traveling because it’s difficult, and he takes the long way around almost every time. The Great Railway Bazaar covers the longest train trip he could arrange in 1975: from London to India, then a plane to Japan, a few trips on the high-speed lines, then back to London via the trans-Siberian. It takes him six months. For Dark Star Safari, which I haven’t yet finished, he begins in Cairo and heads south by land to Cape Town, talking ruins and neglect and the contrast with the hopeful Africa of the early sixties, when everything seemed possible just after independence.

Traveling not just despite, but because of the inconvenience and difficulty really stoked my desire to take a long motorcycle trip this coming spring. There’s a similar theme in Bookdwarf’s current reading, which I’m likely to pick up next: Ultramarathon Man, in which the author runs hundreds of miles not for the fun, but for the pain. OK, he does it for the sense of achievement and the endorphin rush, but that still translates to doing it to prove he can stand the pain.

Next up: a galley I snagged from Bookdwarf, about what the world would look like without humans. It’s called, naturally enough, The World Without Us, and the key illustration is this chart of what collapses and what sticks around. The answers are not all obvious: yes, plastics and nuclear waste are forever, but cockroaches won’t do so well without heated buildings, and our pet cats will do better as wild predators than our dogs. The World Without Us touched on a lot of themes I was already familiar with, but in new ways. I’d recommend it to anyone who liked An Inconvenient Truth, or that New Yorker article about the guy who tracks rubber ducks in the ocean.

Finally, the funny one: The Spellman Files, the debut novel by Lisa Lutz. It’s about a family of private investigators and the ways that their work interferes with their family life. You thought your parents were suspicious of your new date? Try having them run a thorough background check on every man you meet. Think you can keep your sister out of your room? Not if she’s a 12-year-old with a lockpick and a grudge. It’s a great concept, and Lutz does a good job with it. There are a few places early on where I think the narrator’s voice slips a little, but the characters take hold very quickly and build into something which is laugh-out-loud funny but also really sweet. I’d recommend this to anyone.

Posted elsewhere: In it to win it

From the TTS Blog: I know it’s a crowded field– Obama and Hillary and Mitt Romney and so forth– but I know that with your help, I can make a difference. I’m announcing my candidacy for the greatest office in the land: Anna Nicole’s baby’s daddy. Every other dude who’s ever been to the Bahamas seems to have his hat in the ring, I don’t see why I couldn’t be a candidate too. I’m in, and I’m in it to win it!

The Flesh-pots of Babylon

You know what’s dark and cold? Boston in February. So six months ago, Megan and I decided to go somewhere warm for a few days, wherever we could get cheap tickets and good food. That turned out to be South Beach, the land of the fifteen dollar cocktail, the twenty-five-dollar appetizer, and the automatic eighteen-percent tip. We diverted ourselves by counting Hummers– over fifty in just three days– and watching news coverage of Anna Nicole Smith. All in all, I had a lovely time and am glad to be back here where it is cold and dark.

I leave you with this short clip from a news program in which the host mocks the recently deceased:

Stop Gay Marriage Now, so Osama Doesn’t Get Away

Proposal requires kids for marriage. Following the family-values crowd to its logical, Quiver-Full extreme, a gay-rights group has proposed a law that would require married couples to have children within three years.

Now, that’s a great joke, but should it be turned into a genuine ballot initiative? Is it really a good idea to take a one-liner and put it on the ballot, risking idiots turning it into law? What if it actually passes? Do old lines from the Simpsons (“Bart, marriage is a three-year commitment!”) suddenly become prophetic?

Upgraded to “Regular Read”

I don’t read all 151 feeds in my BlogLines feed reader every day. Some of them are decidedly back-burner. But I’ve upgraded Long or Short to a regular read because it mixes financial news with humor and a sense of self-deprecation that I haven’t seen in the financial press before. Two stellar examples from awhile back: Piratery fka Piracy: Primer to Investing in Cutlasses, Rum and Pillaging and Long: Death Squad Start-ups (think Piratery but with more murder and less rum.)

Is that funny to anyone but me? Maybe not. Perhaps instead you will be interested in their dividend policy.