Gossip: Baby’s First Mugshot

Originally posted Feb 12, 2008 as “Baby’s First Mugshot” at Glitterati Gossip.

barronhiltonmugshot.png Looks like we’ll need a "Barron Hilton" category as well as a "Paris Hilton" category on the blog here, as the young man racks up his first mugshot at the tender age of 18, blowing a reported .14 BAC on the alcohol test.

TMZ has all the play-by-play details, of course, and managed to contact Barron’s father to ask for a comment before the police or Barron himself did. Now that’s newshound dedication!

TMZ might know what happens as it happens, but I can tell you what will happen next: From now until about noon tomorrow, gossip-mongers will make fun of the Hilton family, criticize their parenting, and make up increasingly violent misogynist insults for Paris and her mother (but not, for some reason, Nicky). The words "dumb slut" will be the starting point.

Then, tomorrow afternoon, everyone will begin a guilty self-examination period, wondering whether the combination of privilege and constant gossipy scrutiny have doomed celebutots to addiction and disaster, and to what extent they are to blame for the problems of their subjects.

At that point, Britney Spears will be mentioned, and the guilty self-examiners will recount all of the crazy things Britney did, one by one, trying to guess what part of the whole disaster was their fault. Then things will get all too meta, they’ll give up, drink themselves into an uneasy sleep, and start again on Thursday morning.

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