Category: Consuming

This article in GQ, of all things, makes me kind of upset. The killer graf:

Marketers revere the idea of brands, because a brand means that somebody, somewhere, once bought the thing they’re now trying to sell. The Magic 8 Ball (tragically, yes, there is going to be a Magic 8 Ball movie) is a brand because it was a toy. Pirates of the Caribbean is a brand because it was a ride. Harry Potter is a brand because it was a series of books. Jonah Hex is a brand because it was a comic book. (Here lies one fallacy of putting marketers in charge of everything: Sometimes they forget to ask if it’s a good brand.)

That’s the real danger, the real problem, with working in marketing and communications. As a person, I’m inclined to want to find out useful stuff and tell people about it. It’s what makes me good at my job, which is… well, marketing and communications. But who’s going to pay me to do that? All too often, it’s someone whose product or idea can’t really make it on its own.

There are more people with bad products than good products, and there are more jobs putting lipstick on pigs than there are jobs just breaking through the noise for something that deserves to be communicated. If you’re a believer in the Gospel, whether it’s the gospel of Apple Computer or Google or Jesus, that’s all well and good, but good luck getting a job promoting it. There are plenty of people who love that shit so much they’re going to do it for free. If you’re lucky, or clever, you’ll find a cause that’s got a bit of a budget. (I count myself in that number; I’m not going to strike it rich marketing financial sanity, but I’m not going to sell my soul either).

There are, of course, exceptions: A friend of a friend is a brand ambassador for Moët Hennessy, which involves drinking fine wines with sommeliers in top-tier New York restaurants. It’s as though Charlie Sheen were paid by drug cartels to hang out with hookers and do blow. Or as though a couple of clever bastards happened to make a career out of drawing comics about video games. Which they would do whether there was money in it or not.

So what do those of us who have the unfortunate distinction of calling ourselves “Marketing Communications Professionals” do? All too often, we find ourselves selling the wrong thing, distorting the truth, or creating the noise that other people have to break through.

If only we all lived in Seth Godin’s universe of people only marketing ideas and products that are worth the effort. If only moviegoers were motivated by art and not wanting the kids to shut the hell up for 90 minutes.

I might as well wish for a pony too!

Direct marketing isn’t rocket science, but it’s not the simplest thing in the world either. And it pays to learn from example, especially when that example is the Direct Marketing Association, the trade organization of the direct marketing industry.

For example: The subject line is clear and authoritative and speaks directly to things I want. It says Improve deliverability and drive response rates

Well, that’s basically my job description right there, so of course I opened it immediately.

Inside, I found some not-terribly-exciting business-like graphics. They weren’t that important, though. Even if I hadn’t loaded the images, I’d have gotten the gist of the offer immediately: A $29 webinar on improving your e-mail marketing.

More importantly, it’s free for members, and we all know about the power of free by now. I doubt the DMA expects many people to pay the $29, but they use the price to send a signal that this free webinar is valuable, and that you’re special.

And of course, there’s a big red button that says REGISTER NOW. Which, of course, I clicked.

And that’s where the problem appeared. The DMA, like countless other bulk e-mail senders, uses click tracking to determine who clicks a link in what message at what time. They do it by having every link in an e-mail go through a special redirect URL that tracks the relevant data and assembles reports. It’s convenient for the sender, and it’s largely transparent to the end-user.

It looks a little sketchy, but most people won’t really care about the fact that a link that will wind up at some sub-page of newdma.org is making a quick stop over at link.email-dma.org.

That works great, unless you’re sending that e-mail message to someone with a restrictive workplace network policy. For example, me. Instead of a signup process for that appealing online seminar, I got a warning about misusing corporate resources and trying to visit prohibited web pages.

Not every recipient will have a firewall set like mine, but do you really want to turn away anyone, especially when there are other ways to track clicks?

For example, instead of using a redirect to a dedicated domain, the DMA could have sewn their tracking system into their main web host, which certainly has its own tracking system internally. Each recipient would be assigned a unique ID which would be appended to every link, like so: http://www.newdma.org/webinar-special?uid=abcd1234

Of course, that would require very close collaboration between the web development team and the e-mail marketing team. In many organizations, web and e-mail don’t work as closely together as they should. They have slightly different goals: The web team wants overall traffic, the e-mail team is focused on click-through. Both want conversion, of course, but the way they measure all the ancillary details makes it hard for them to get on the same page technically.

So they wind up with two tracking systems that don’t work well together, and that leads not only to missed opportunities—people turned away by errors in the click forwarding system—but also to less effective reporting. The e-mail team will know they got 1,000 click-throughs, and the web team might know they got 100 sign-ups. But will the two teams know how many of the signups are driven by the e-mail and how many are a result of organic traffic, or the front page navigation, or SEO?

So, the CBO estimate of the health care bill is out, and the headlines are all screaming about it. The AP headline, carried on CNBC and elsewhere, reads “CBO: Health bill would cut $138 billion from deficit in 10 years.”

The Wall Street Journal gives a big shocking number: Health Overhaul to Cost $940 Billion Over Decade. In the online version, that’s the page title, but in the print version, it’s the headline, which is then followed by three paragraphs before the article explains that, despite the big number, it’s actually a savings.

Maybe it’s not just a WSJ thing, but it sure seems like it to me.

I just moved to Cambridge from Somerville, and after a week of being offline, I had my Comcast setup appointment this afternoon. The guy showed up and brought me a cable box that was exactly the same as my RCN cable box from Somerville, only it doesn’t have HDMI outputs and doesn’t offer the channels I like in HD. He also gave me a setup CD for a “self-install” for my internet connection.

The setup program asked for my account number, which it said was available on my bill (which I haven’t gotten yet) or through the Comcast website, which I could reach by clicking a link further on in the message. A link which didn’t exist, and which wouldn’t have worked, because I didn’t have internet access set up. Classic.

I had to call and spend a few minutes on hold being regaled by Ben Stein about the glories of Comcast before I could get an account rep to tell me my account number. Then I finished the setup process, rebooted, and… was asked to set up again. I did it twice more, gave up, and found that it worked when I came back to it several hours later.

So far, this is a lot more expensive and less convenient than RCN. But since there’s no competition – no, I’m not willing to go satellite+DSL, and there’s no FiOS here yet – it’s what I’m stuck with. Monopolies must be a pretty comcastic business to be in, I guess.

It’s gift-giving season, and you’re on a budget. More than usual, even. So aren’t we all. But you also want to do the right thing – not just buy a lead-and-BPA baby rattle made by starving children in China or whatever. So, where do you shop? Here are my obviously perfect suggestions:

Local shopping that’s also a party: Davis Square Midnight Madness: Quite a few of the businesses in Davis Square will be extending hours and cutting prices on December 3rd. My suggestions: Dave’s Fresh Pasta (unusual and delicious wine and beer) Artifaktori (indie and/or vintage fashion, antiques, oddities), and Boston Shaker (bar supplies).

Deep discounts on good reads: Harvard Book Store Warehouse Sale: Saturday and Sunday, December 5-6, at the Harvard Book Store Warehouse (14 Park St., Somerville, near Porter Square on the Red Line or the 87 bus). They’ll have 15% off already-discounted remainders as well as some signed first editions. Pick up a glossy coffee-table book and look like you spent the bank! This is their second warehouse sale, and I’m assured it’ll be bigger and better than the last one. Also check out their card selection for letterpress cards you won’t find anywhere else. (Helpful hint: A fancy card with a heartfelt message they’ll love is still way cheaper than a chintzy gift they won’t appreciate).

Craft and fashion: Design Hive in Cambridge. It’s a bit like an indoor version of the (summer-only) SoWa Open Market, a bit like a craft-show flea-market, and quite a bit Cambridge. Last event of the season (“Handmade Holidaze”) is on Sunday 12/6 starting at 10 AM.

Stuff you never knew you needed: Bazaar Bizarre: December 6 at the Cyclorama on Tremont St. You’ll find art, craft, chintz, kitsch, punk, disco, glam, jewelry, makeup, and sixteen kinds of what-have-you. Also affiliated with Boston Handmade. Speaking of which…

From the first minute to the last minute: Boston Handmade has a storefront open at 505 Washington St. in Downtown Crossing from November 27th through December 24th. They’re carrying goods from 30 or so different Boston artisans, and have a big opening party the 28th of November.

The Student Lending Analytics Blog has a great post about the similarities between the mortgage bubble and student lending – particularly for students at the less-scrupulous proprietary schools (Jay’s Technical Institute of Houston, I’m looking at you!)

Every time I think I’ve quit commenting on local real estate, it pulls me back in. Today’s featured listing is from my neighborhood: 26 Wallace St., Somerville MA. It’s a great location, of course, and I saw the inside of it last time it was on the market. It’s nicely-renovated, although the new fixtures are a little lacking in charm. The granite-and-stainless kitchen would scream “gut renovation in ’06” even if the MLS description didn’t. Still, it’s spacious, sunny, has a deck and a yard and off-street parking you won’t even need because it’s just so close to everything.

The catch? They’re asking $774,900. Sales history on Zillow says it was sold in ’05 for $450k, flipped in ’06 for $745k, and again in ’08 for $755k. Now, this is a large house in a great location, one I couldn’t afford even at a reasonable price, but they’re asking way more than it’s worth – more than 95% of the rest of the homes in that zip code.

Then again, I love the way they shaved a hundred dollars off the price tag to bring it in below $775,000. It just makes it look like more of a bargain. Make it $773,999.95 and I’ll consider it!

Marcella Hazan, author of the (very highly regarded) Essentials of Classic Italian Cooking, has a beautifully written jibe at other authors and chefs in her recipe for handmade pasta: “Note: Outside of spinach, no other coloring can be recommended as an alternative to basic yellow pasta. Other substances have no flavor, and therefore have no gastronomic interest. Or, if they do contribute flavor, such as that of the deplorable black pasta whose dough is tinted with squid ink, its taste is not fresh. Pasta does not need to be dressed up, except in the colors and aromas of its sauce.”

I still like a little cracked pepper myself, but really you can put that on top rather than in the pasta.